Dear Olivia,

Normally I try my best to get a post like this done on your actual birthday, as it's something of a self-imposed goal I have that doubles as a present to you (although I haven't told you about these yet). I want you to know that over the years it's still important to me to write about this journey I've taken on by becoming your dad. It's a way to look back and remember all the ups and downs of the previous year, which is especially important to me because I don't do much else to remember those things. I've grown out of posting tons of photos or sharing things about my life on social media. Partially because I don't feel like my life is that exciting, and partially because I don't want to open up and be criticized for anything I have or haven't done both as a person and a father. The internet is full of armchair experts, many of whom think they know how someone should live their life or make certain decisions, and I'm not about that. I also feel like my writing skills have deteriorated over the years and I'm just not good at it anymore. I used to be able to come up with funny (at least in my mind) comparisons between events in our lives and movies/music/whatever that just don't come easy to me anymore. Maybe it's a byproduct of me getting older, maybe it's that I've been too busy and haven't been able to get around to it, or maybe it's just Maybelline (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDO-2qce1oI ). Guess I still have a bit of it left in me, huh?

To say that this past year has been busy is an understatement, and that's just starting with all of the musicals you've been in. Last year's post was written as you and your mom were in the final rehearsals for 'Elf: The Musical.' Since then you went on to do 'Schoolhouse Rock,' which was fun for your Mom and I because we grew up with those songs. Next up was 'Beauty and the Beast,' where you and your Mom were in the ensemble and one of your parts was playing a dancing sugar cube during 'Be Our Guest.' Summertime brought a two week 'Best of Broadway' camp, which had you learning a bunch of ABBA songs. Then you finally got your big break landing the role of Dorothy in your school's production of 'The Wizard of Oz,' which was on the same stage as all the bigger, adult productions are held. We were all thrilled that you got the part, but your Mom and I knew it was going to be a lot of work. So most nights it was you and I running through all 192 lines you had, trying to figure out the best ways to remember them, and eventually you just had them down. I know it must have been nerve wracking to be the center of the show, but you acted like you were made of teflon and none of it seemed to affect you. The house was packed with friends and family of the nearly 200 students who performed on the stage that day, and you were the center of attention. I welled up multiple times during that performance, and I'm definitely going to complain to the theater owners about the amount of onions they cut during shows the next time I'm there. Your mom and I were so proud of you that day. We knew you had it in you to get bigger parts in shows, and this exceeded our expectations. Since then you've moved on to smaller part in the most recent 'Fairy Tale Christmas' show and you're already chomping at the bit to audition for next season. Musical theater is in your DNA, thanks to your Mom, and I can't wait to see where it takes you.

Last year also brought your first forays into the worlds of team sports, starting with track and then soccer. While we know you aren't the most physically active kiddo, we welcomed the opportunities for you to work as part of a team and have some individual moments for yourself. Track seemed to start off well, although you didn't seem to like all the running you had to do, and it eventually ended with you quitting right before the first meet because of a fall you took. We were a bit disappointed about the quitting, but we didn't want to push and have you end up resenting us for it. Soccer seemed to connect more for you, especially since one of your best friends was on the team. We bought all the gear and a ball to practice with at home, and it seemed like you were enjoying it more than track. It was exciting to see you out on the field and doing your best, which was all we asked for. Although the season was short, you got to play in two games and receive a medal because your team won the city championship! But that wasn't the only thing you got out of soccer. Shortly after the last game, you came down with a mysterious illness that turned out to be mono...

When you first got sick your throat was sore and your ear hurt, so we were sure it was strep. But then we went to the doctor and they found an abscess on your tonsil, so they decided to take some blood and have you go for a CT scan. Getting shots and taking blood has never been something you enjoyed, so it took me and another nurse holding you down for someone to finally get your blood. Unfortunately the CT scan involved them injecting dye into you to show contrast, but the tech who was working there was unbelievably sweet and calming and made you feel better about being there in his care. We went home and you nestled into your bed to watch a show on your ipad, thinking that all the commotion was over. Sadly that wasn't the case, as moments later the doctor called us with the results of the blood work and CT scan: "Go to the hospital now. Your daughter has mono and needs proper care and monitoring." Honestly, your Mom and I kind of freaked at the news. This would be the first time you'd have to be in a hospital, outside of the one you were born in, and we didn't know how serious this would be for you. We had to drive two towns over to the only hospital with a children's ward, but once we got there our minds were put at ease. The doctors and staff at Memorial Hospital were so kind, caring and attentive to all of our needs. Even though you had to get more blood drawn and an IV for fluids, you went through it like a champ with their help. The hospital had tons of movies for you to watch and people who came around with free activities and snacks, which all helped pass the time easier. The only down sides to the experience were the uncomfortable couch that folded out into a bed and the constant beeping of the gadgets hooked up to you, which woke us all up throughout the nights. You ended up staying there for two and a half days and nearly missed the last week of school, but in the end it all worked out. The day we were leaving I ended up chatting with a mom on the elevator about the hospital and how good it was. She explained that her daughter was finishing her last rounds of chemotherapy, and that she had been in the hospital for months. She was relieved that they could finally go home, and I felt so self conscious talking about the seemingly trivial illness you had compared to her daughter's. But that just goes to show you: no matter how hard you have it, someone else has it worse. I'm so glad we have such a good hospital close to us, and while I hope we never have to go back again, it gives me some relief in knowing that you'll get the best care to help you through it. I hope that family is past the worst of it and that they can move on to a better sense of normalcy and life outside of a hospital.

School this past year was also a mix of bitter and sweet. Moving here meant a new school, which you took to very quickly and made a lot of good friends. As the year went on we learned about a new charter school that was starting up, ran by the same people who put on the musical theater productions that you and your Mom have been in, and we wondered if it would be a better fit for your interests and needs. After going to a few open houses and learning more, it seemed like a no brainer to switch schools again. Transitioning over was mostly painless, although you had to say goodbye to seeing most of the new friends you'd made, and we sadly had to go from a 10 minute walk to/from school to a 20 minute drive to your new one. But in the end, it has been so worth it. The arts based focus of the school has you exposed to weekly theater, dance and music lessons that you weren't getting at your old one. It's taken some adjustment on our end, especially considering we went from seeing you have homework every day (old school) to barely any at this new one. Our only parent/teacher conference so far had you presenting what you've been learning to us, and only a brief discussion with your teacher about how you're doing. And while there has been minimal communication about your progress in 6th grade, your teacher has eased our minds with the approach that's being taken. Fundamentals are being taught and blended into other subjects to reinforce not only the concepts, but how they can work together. There's more of an emphasis on working together with your classmates to accomplish tasks, and freedoms given for you and your classmates to come up with ideas and clubs and have ownership in what happens in them. While this is a non-traditional approach, I've grown to appreciate it over time. My main concern is making sure you are prepared for the world that's waiting for you, especially the tough world of high school. But I'm hopeful that it will all come together in the end and make you and your classmates examples of how good students, and good individuals who will eventually function in society, can emerge out of a non-traditional approach to education.

Begrudgingly letting me take a mug shot photo of you

We've definitely had some ups and downs over the last year, and a lot of those came from within our house, rather than outside of it. Being a tween means having to deal with fluctuating hormones and the emotional rollercoasters you have to ride along the way, not to mention the disagreements we get into about all sorts of things. I'm doing my best to try to prepare you to be a self-reliant individual who can function in the world without too much help from others, but boy has that been a difficult thing to do. We've been having you do chores to help out around the house for some time now, but there seems to be no end in sight to us having to remind you to do them. The amount of cups, half-filled with water, that I have to repeatedly remind you to take downstairs (and *gasp* put in the dishwasher too!?!?) has had me wondering if I should just install a shelving unit just for them in your room. I've asked you over and over again not to bring food into your room, especially candy, but that doesn't seem to stop me from finding candy wrappers and bits of food in there. Apparently you want bugs to live in your room alongside you, which I've warned you about many times. So when that day comes when you cry out, "Dad, there's a bug in my room!!!," it will fall on deaf ears. No matter how many clocks we have in the house, or how many times we remind you of the time and when we might have to leave for something, you seems to always be flustered once it's we have to head out the door because you have to do all the things we'd been asking you to do leading up to that point. I know that it's part of the process, and I honestly have no idea how many times my own parents had to beat these things into my head for me to finally turn them into habits for myself, but I hope that it starts getting less painful soon. I want you to be a helper, to let people know that you care about what they say and ask of you, or at least let those people know that your parents took the time to try to get you to understand why those things are important.

Alright, enough dwelling on the bad stuff. What were some of the highlights of the past year? How about you and I visiting C2E2 (Chicago Comic-Con) together and seeing all the amazing cosplay and the giant Appa from Avatar: The Last Airbender? We went to the Chicago Pride parade and saw all the love and inclusion that we missed about being in a big city, even when a storm opened up right before the start and made us soaking wet through all of it. You've started voice lessons and drum lessons, and are progressing wonderfully with them. We've enjoyed watching great shows and movies together, like Ted Lasso, Glow Up, the Taylor Swift: Eras and Barbie. We had a week long visit in the summer from our Connecticut friends who are like family and had a blast with them. We've made new local friends, including ones who live right next door to us, and are enjoying spending time with them. In some cases, the world got a bit smaller when we moved out here. But it seems like it really got bigger with all the activities and friends you've made so far, and I can't wait to see what's in store this year.

Lastly, I want to call out a conversation we had recently when we were in Cleveland, visiting the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (technically this should be in next year's birthday post, but oh well). We had a great day at the HoF and seeing some of the things Cleveland had to offer, and had just gotten done with dinner. On the walk back to the car we started talking about the city, and how good it felt to be back in one. I asked you if you had any dreams about living in a city one day, to which you replied yes. You told us your dream about moving out to NYC or Chicago to try to get on Broadway or be in musical theater. I know it's early and we have no idea what the future may bring, but in that moment I had one request of you: "Stay hungry." Remember that while we moved back to Indiana, where things are smaller and less hectic, to be closer to family and get more for our money, there is a whole big world out there waiting for you. Your Mom and I took advantage of this in our time, living in Japan briefly and then much longer in New York, and want that hunger in you as well. The world outside of Indiana is filled with amazing people, places, food and experiences that you simply cannot pass up. Stay hungry for those things and do what you can to make them part of who you are and who you will become. Is it scary out there? Hell yes it is, but dammit it is so worth it. Whether or not great things are in your future, I hope you will find them outside of the comforts of this area. Not because I don't like living here, but because I got out there and faced fears to see those things for myself. It won't always be easy, but please know that I'll always have your back and have a place for you to stay if you need to regroup and try again. Just don't expect me to clean up all your damn cups if you do come back ;)

Happy belated birthday.

Love,

Dad